With so much focus on today’s BIG FIGHT between Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Manny Pacquiao, I thought I’d take a minute to recognize another fight that’s going on. The TRUE fight of the century. It’s the fight between me and that goddamn bird that keeps waking me up at two o’clock in the goddamn morning.
Hey bird- WTF?? Why are you singing your song so loudly in the middle of the night? Yeah, it’s a beautiful and complex song, I’m not denying that. But newsflash- THERE ARE NO OTHER BIRDS THAT ARE AWAKE! It doesn’t matter how many times you sing your song, no lady birds are leaving their roost to come have sex with you. How do I know this? Because you’ve been singing that song every night for two goddamn weeks with no success!! Give it up!
I can yell, I can throw things blindly into the darkness of the night…nothing stops you. So look, I’m begging you: please stop. The fight is over. I’m throwing in the towel. Just shut up and let me sleep.
Oh man, as many of the society members recall, I had cockatiels. Ver and I have had a woodpecker that just goes nuts on a telephone pole every day.
And a little bit on the Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Manny Pacquiao fight. I didn’t watch it and I hear it was the fight that killed the sport.